Seven Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your Father from my Upcoming book- Confessions of a Luke Warm Life

1) I promise I won't cum inside.
2) Sorry about that I came inside.
3) Does this cock ring make my dick look too fat?
4) Look I sent you to College the least you can do is swallow.
5) May Mia Farrow will adopt you . I hear she adopts retards.
6) RE: Your Mother. Fuck her I did.
7) I love you!

The End of Facefuck

Hi John,

You have deactivated your Facebook account. You stupid cunt.

Yes RIP  Facebook it was fun but time to move on. I was very sad to go actually..but I had no idea how pissed off people got about what I posted and whatnot. Nah I aint a pussy and don't really give a toss but I never wanted to hurt people in anyway...hard to explain. But I cannot walk on egg shells nor am I good at censoring myself so I will just nest in this little blog on my own. A madman ranting and raving, writing and craving right here.  So until next time....damn I miss my friends.

xo
j

Svengali- The Novel Part Three

Svengali Part 3- The Novel Aftermath

Svengali drove the car not sure of his destination but he knew he was in trouble and needed a place to think. His apartment was no good and hadn't been in a long time. It reminded him too much of her, every square fucking inch. The bed where they made love and the bed that later became his prison. No he needed to go somewhere. But where? He then saw something that caught his eye. A letter addressed to the dead girl. Of course he thought I will take her back to her place , she told him at the bar she had no roommates so her place would be unoccupied. Well at least he knew what to do next, hopefully he would also figure out how to get out of this mess. As he drove the scent of the corpse was not of the rotting flesh or blood but it was her perfume. "That fucking perfume." he muttered " Daisy' perfume." He had no idea if this was some sort of sign but did not want to think about it now. He already had to much on his mind. Hours later he approached her town. "Christ" he thought " Where the fuck does she live the Mohave Desert?" He approached a sign that read "Valley Gomorrah Population 667". It was a desert town with hardly any sign of any vegetation except dead trees and tumbleweeds. The road was scattered with road kill that the Detective winced at when he got a glimpse. Funny he thought I have a body who was hacked to death in the back but the site of a dead rabbit makes me sick. He looked for any sign of civilization but the desert road seemed endless. He approached a giant hill and was worried that the car would not make it up it until finally he reached the top and saw at last the town below the Valley.. Well town would of been to kind of a word. It was more like a shanty town with dirt roads and hundreds of track homes. There were only a few buildings who seemed to be barely holding up. It wasn't until he went down the hill that he noticed that they were strip joints. That was it. Three strip Clubs, a sex arcade, a liquor store and a Church. "Well" he thought " I guess that is some sort of balance." He had no time to site see his goal was to find the girls home and then think of what to do next. He drove up the road a few blocks from the main town and entered a rusted gate with a sign proclaiming "Home Sweet Valley Gomorrah Homes." "Charming" he said to himself as he drove past the decaying rusted track homes which lined the road. Half dying dogs walked aimlessly in the intense Sun. Obese Women wearing bras and panties sat in lawn chairs batting off flies. Rusted cars and cheap plastic baby pools seemed to be the popular home decorations. He reached the girls trailer which was the last one on the block. He jumped out of the car and carried the body hoping to get inside before anyone noticed. But he was not fast enough.
"What'cha doing thar Mister?" a woman's hoarse voiced asked
"Oh I am just helping my friend back to her place..We had a little too much to drink last night and I am taking care of her." The nervous Detective replied.
"Oh Shit Mister! Amber Ann Ellen May can take care of herself. She puts the party in Animal!"
Did I really sleep with a woman named Amber Ann Ellen May he thought to himself.
"Just put her in bed and she will sleep it off..damn what did you drink she looks dead to the World."
How right she was the Detective thought. He opened the door which was thankfully locked and immediately threw her on her bed and placed a sheet over her. Not sooner did he do this but the voice returned.
"Oh sorry I just let myself in. Hope you don't mind Amber and I are like sisters although I be the younger one." At this she started to laugh and then coughed up as if she at a giant hairball which seemed to be for an eternity. She then spat out a giant green mass of phlegm and spat it on the floor.
Svengali's eyes froze at the sight of the  phlegm with a look of utter disgust which got the woman's attention.
"Oh shit that aint nothing." she said " You should see what comes out of my pussy!"
"Oh that is okay." he responded as he led her out of the trailer.
Because his main concern was getting Amber into the house he had barely noticed the woman he had been speaking to.
She was 5-1 skinny as a rail. She must of been at least in her mid fifties but had no way of knowing for sure.  Hair bleached orange and she had dark leathery skin which reminded him of a baseball mitt cracked and dried. Her lips were chapped with giant white build up on the sides. She had a tube top on and breast like two skinny bananas which dropped down below the top to her waist and were both tucked into her cut off short's pockets. While looking at her his mouth dropped which once again made her notice.
"You look any more it is gonna cost you handsome." She winked
"No that is quite all right" he said
"Suit yerself" she said as she lit up a cigarette "So you gonna hang around for awhile?"
"Planning on it"
"Good I can show you around if you want."
" no it is quite okay I was just going to get something to eat."
"Then follow me Mister they are having an all you can eat buffet at the Rusty Trombone. That's the strip club I work at."
"Oh I think I will be okay."
"Nonsense your coming with me and we are gonna get some grub."
He reluctantly followed her into the town. She talked endlessly but he was not paying attention until he saw something shocking.
"What the hell is that?" He shouted
"Oh dincha no?" She said nonchalantly "It is Good Friday."
"But! But! What is that?" he pointed
"Like I said hun. It is Good Friday. We be religious folks here."
Svengali wiped his eyes in disbelief and then he looked again. On a small hill was a man crucified on a cross which was upside down. There were people poorly costumed in black robes mocking him.
"We do a passion play every year this is just a practice for our Sunday spectacular. He is one of our town folks. He is acting hun aint real. He be Jesus H. Christ. I told you we were religious folks."
"But he is hanging upside down." Svengali said
""Um we are simple folk also I guess nobody did their research properly. Come on hun let's go I can practically taste those rabbit wings now." She said
She walked in a faster pace and the Detective saw that one of her breast slipped from her short's pocket and sway to and fro by her side. And above her back was a tattoo that read "trampp stamp"

Svengali- The Novel Part Two

Svengali Part 2- The Novel- Aftermath

After the initial shock the detective pushed the lifeless body off him. Because of his strength the body hurled immediately onto the steering wheel setting off the horn. The Detective quickly grabbed her hair and pulled the corpse off it. The body slumped back onto the seat and as he reclined both faces met. He looked at her for a moment. Both eyes gazing. "What the hell happened" he said as blood trickled down her porcelain skin. Then a mournful moan escaped from her mouth with a deafening level. Svengali leaped out of the car. " Shit! Shit! Shit!" he screamed " Okay man get a hold of yourself..you are in the middle of nowhere with a dead girl that you may or may not have murdered. You know your typical Friday Morning." He caught his reflection in the car window. This is not the face of a murderer he assured himself.  He was about to get back into he car when a large voice bellowed " Hey Mister okay?"
" Yes I am fine."
" Car Problems dude? You need a jump or something ?" he asked
"Nothing I cannot take care of man, Thanks for your concern."
The man noticed the body in drivers seat
"You guys having a fight or something?'
"Yeah something like that." The Detective countered
"Well make sure she knows who's the boss." he said as he drove away
"Fucking asshole." Svengali muttered as he went to open the car door. He noticed his hand was covered in blood and immediately wiped it on his shirt. His hand started to shake uncontrollably. Usually when it did this it meant he was needing more alcohol but not this time. He was scared - terrified to be exact and he knew it. His heart started racing and it felt like it was going to pop out of his chest. He hated not being in control of his feelings and bashed his head against the car to numb the sensation. This worked for a moment but his left hand still shook. He looked at it and noticed there was a certain motion to it. A rhythm that seemed choreographed. As he watched the hand gestures became broader and faster. It looked as though it was writing something.He rushed back into the car and searched the glove compartment. There he found a pen and then retrieved a parking ticket that was on the car's floor. He situated himself in the car and placed the ticket on the dashboard. He placed the pen in his hand and placed it on the ticket. He watched in disbelief as the pen took off writing on the ticket. Then as soon as it started it stopped. He dropped the pen and brought the ticket to his face and read it."

Deketive OMG! What are you doingg? gEt outt of theres kuick. u have to leAve. tAke the kar and Drive Now!!!!

He looked in astonishment at the writings. It couldn't be he thought. She is dead. He felt a wave of sorrow overcoming him and he began to shake uncontrollably. Then with all his might he threw the ticket to the ground and said.
"Alright calm the fuck down. You are in shock. You have a dead girl in the car and you think Daisy is writing to you from beyond. Fucking stop it Svengali."
With intense speed he grabbed the lifeless body and threw it in the back. He took her place and started the engine and drove off. Yes he thought to himself he was in shock and things right now did not make sense. But what was just written was correct he had to get out of there and fast.

Svengali The Aftermath: The Novel

Svengali Part One. The Aftermath

He laughed slightly to himself as he gazed at the rosary beads which were swaying from her car's rear view mirror. The things that came from her mouth ( not to mention the thing about to be in her mouth which she groped endlessly at the bar) he would of not thought of her as the religious type. He then set his gaze on her breast and then shifted his eyes slowly downward. Her dress was obscenely short and he could see a brief hint of her panties which made his cock throb with anticipation for their destination. She did not notice him gazing at her for she was staying focused on her driving. She had more than enough to drink and knew she was not suppose to be driving in this condition, but the sexual urges got the best of her. He took her hand and placed it his cock and gently coaxed her to grab it. She took the bait and massaged it first slow and then faster until he took her hand off it. " Careful baby your going to make me cum." he said. She laughed a little and started touching her breast. She was his type not a size zero that most men desired but a woman with flesh on her and curves they way God intended. That is if God had taste he would say. He leaned over and kissed her chest which exposed her ample bosom. He kissed them gently  and he could taste the soft sweat of her breast which was lightly perfumed with a scent he almost had forgotten. He leaned back onto the seat with a concerned look. "What's wrong baby?" she asked " Can't wait?" With that she pulled the car over to the side of the road and quickly took off her seat belt. She jumped on his lap and forced her mouth onto his. He was taken aback for a mere second but soon gained his composure and grabbed her hard pulling his entire face on her tits. He ripped her dress slightly and when her breast  came out he all but devoured them. He then placed his hand on her crotch and felt the dampness of her panties. "You are a bad boy aren't you." She purred as she struggled to take her dress off. There it was again he thought to himself that scent. The car was steamed with their breath as he tried to remember what it reminded him of. She ripped his shirt off and noticed a large tattoo on his chest. " God that sure is big." She said. It was a cue he thought for an obvious joke but he was not in the mood. "What does it mean?" she questioned. "It is the Heart of Sorrow with Seven daggers...it means..never mind." She noticed she had broken his concentration and placed her lips on his and took his hands on her breast. As they kissed he could smell it again it was driving him insane. And then he saw it. Flash! The dead body. She unzipped his pants. He saw it again. Flash! the Blonde hair caked in blood. She took his cock in her mouth. Flash! The Seven stab wounds in her heart. She sucked faster and he saw the image again. He was at the morgue, he was to identify the body. He was hung over and miserable and had not slept in days. He knew for certain it could not of been her. They were to be married and had been though worse then this. But the corner lifted the sheet and on top of the cold steel gurney was her body. Her eyes deep and blue were wide open with a terrified look on her face that he would never forget. He fell upon her body and sobbed. Why couldn't he have saved her like he had so many times before. They were so close to of being together for ever and now this. It took three men to pry him off of her. He collapsed on his knees he knew he would never be the same again. He went back and forth between seeing her dead and back to the present where the woman was now sitting on his cock and fucking herself and then he passed out. The next thing he heard was a horn from a truck which woke him from his drunken sleep. "What the fuck?' he exclaimed looking at his surroundings he was still in the car half naked. I must of passed out he thought as he pulled up his pants. He noticed the woman next to him covered with his jacket. "Wake up baby. It is morning." he said as he gently nudged her. He placed his hand on her shoulder and grabbed her. Her body was limp as it collapsed on to his lap. Her eyes were wide open just like hers were and blood was on her chest just like she had. He screamed "Oh fuck Svengali! What have you done?"

Why we eat Bacon for Breakfast

You know eating bacon is a breakfast tradition but do did you know where it came from? Well it seems that back in the olden days Abraham Lincoln would rise early to make sure men still had their foreskin intact. He would ride his horse from house to house to make sure they were still sporting it and if they didn't he would take out his knife and hack them to death. So the people thought of a plan. Take a thin piece of skin from a pig and fry it. Then place it on the penis and viola instant foreskin! Thus this is where the eating bacon for breakfast legend came from. Later I will tell you how in the olden days women would use poach eggs to replace their own eggs so they could have babies.

Why is the thought of old people fucking make people ill?

I mean everyone needs to have sex and just because they are old should not make people judge them for doing the nasty. So i say replace that wheel chair with a sling and shove that walker up their dried and crumbling assholes.